'Safe' outfits and the struggles of being inbetween sizes

Safe outfit #1
Jacket- Primark £22
Dress- Topshop £40
Boots- New Look £8 (SALE)

Although I am a proud advocate for body positivity, I have never been body confident.

Being a UK size 14, I find that I am still too large to fit into leading high street stores such as River Island or Zara (they do claim to carry my size but I can rarely find anything that isn't baggy or bland!) yet told I'm not big enough for exclusive plus size stores such as Torrid or Yours. I often find myself feeling excluded from the online plus size community and at the same time unable to relate to the typical slender fashion blogger. 

The word 'flattering' is also coupled with a love-hate relationship for me. My weight fluctuates quite a lot and whenever I am a little bit heavier than usual I always restrict myself to the same outfits. I forbid myself to wear anything that displays the tops of my arms or legs, anything that is tight on my stomach and anything that isn't in a stretchy fabric. Annoyingly, these mental rules leave me with two options: either a skater skirt tucked into an oversized t-shirt or a long-sleeved A-line dress. I find that limiting myself to these 'flattering' silhouettes prevents me from exploring trends and styles that I love. As a result, I feel weak, guilty and unworthy of fashionable clothing. So should I wear these 'safe' outfits that society have taught me suit my body shape or do I break free and explore the trends and styles that I love?  

Safe Outfit #2
Lace Playsuit- Quiz £15 (SALE)
Boots- New Look £8 (SALE)

Everybody experiences days when they feel more self conscious than usual. Last year was my worst for this. I refused to be in group photos with my friends because I was scared of being the largest one and I even cancelled on birthday parties and nights out because I felt too self-conscious to be seen in public. I am currently twenty pounds down from my staring weight, however I still get scared and breathless when deciding what to wear to social situations. I constantly compare myself to everyone around me and embarrassingly, I even call my sisters for a prep talk before going into a night club! Sadly, no matter how heavy I am, I doubt these feelings will ever pass entirely so it is important for me to find an effective way to cope with these emotions.

Safe Outfit #3
Turtle neck- Select around £8
Pinafore- Primark £5 (SALE)

When I have one of these bad days I find that having a ready made 'safe' outfit is incredibly helpful. I make sure this outfit not only follows my rules but also makes me feel stylish, comfortable, safe and happy in what I am wearing. I always have these clean and ready in my wardrobe so that when I feel myself getting worked up about my weight or appearance, I can instantly shut down the negative thoughts and get on with my day.

Safe Outfit #4
Top- Charity shop £1.99
Skirt- Primark £5

As I continue with my weight loss journey, I hope I won't have to depend on these outfits as much, however I have found them really useful and thought I would share! Does anyone else do this as well? If so please let me know!

Eva Rose
xxx

University OOTD!

Today I thought I'd attempt my first ootd! I can only take pictures on my IPod in my dimly-lit student accommodation, but we've all got to start somewhere!

The Dress

I have had this dress for a few years now but I have only just lost enough weight to fit back into it (hurray!). It is in a very flattering skater-style with a dainty reoccurring pattern. Despite it being a few years old, the flared sleeves and keyhole detailing on the back makes it look quite trendy. I paired it with some black tights and a simple brown Primark belt to make it a bit more casual.

Outerwear  

When I last visited my parents, my mum was going through her old clothes and donating some things to charity. Luckily, I grabbed this denim Levi jacket before she had the chance to throw it away! It is a little oversized, however this means there is plenty of room for a cardigan or a hoodie underneath if it gets really chilly. I also find that this black bowler hat from H&M goes with everything!Accessories

Today I had a day of lectures so I kept my jewellery quite minimalistic. I wore my favourite cross earrings with this dainty silver dragon-fly pendant that my Great Aunt gave me a few years ago.

I am going to attempt to be brave and shoot some outfit pictures outside next time!
Eva Rose
xxxx

What I ate today 13/03/2017

Although it is only March, I feel that this year I have made great improvements within my health. I started off four stone over weight and have lost just over a stone so far! Although I have around three stone to go, I feel so much more energised and motivated for future progress. I'd love to incorporate some food and exercise diaries into this blog as the better I feel in my body, the better I feel in my clothes and the more confident I will be when it comes to exploring new styles. 

Since I run around 4-5 times a week varying in length and intensity, my caloric intake changes considerably day to day.

Breakfast- Chocolate Banana Porridge

0.5 cups of Tesco-value porridge oats (75g- 282cal)

0.5 cups of oat milk (100ml-35cal)

0.5 cups of water

2 table spoons of honey (120cal)

1 heaped able spoon of cocoa powder (60cal)

1 small chopped banana (90cal)

A sprinkling of pumpkin seeds (15g-80cal)

A sprinkling of desiccated coconut  (12.5g-84cal)

Total calories:750

I prefer having a large breakfast, a medium sized lunch and a small dinner.

I find porridge is something I always look forward to eating and helps me keep fuller for longer.




Lunch- Tuna Salad with Toast

1 slice of gluten-free bread (80cal)
1 tablespoon of margarine (30cal)
1 tin of tuna in spring water (120cal)
2 salad tomatoes (54cal)
1 cup of raw spinach (7cal)
4 leaves of lettuce (23cal)
0.25 of a cucumber (4cal)

Total calories: 358


I love bulking up my lunches with salad items since it makes me feel that I have eaten a lot of food, despite most of it being very low in calories. I decided to add in a slice of bread just because I enjoy bread and don't want to completely restrict myself!




Dinner- Rice and Cheddar Stuffed Peppers

2 pre-made stuffed peppers (2470al)
1 leaf of lettuce (4cal)

Total calories: 244


These are a really cheap, low calorie dinner from Morrison's.  They taste incredible too!











Snacks

Apple (80cal)
Plum (30cal)
2 Easy Peeler (78cal)
The Laughing Cow cheese dippers (100cal)
2 fruit yoghurts (146cal)

Total calories: 434

Eventually I aim to stop snacking throughout the day and stick to three main meals a day, however at the moment I am focusing on changing the contents of my diet, not the specific timing of my food consumption.

I aim to eat mostly fruit as snacks and so far I'm really enjoying it!





Total calories consumed throughout the day: 1786
Calories burned through exercise (40 minute run at a 9minute-per-mile pace): 605

So I am ending the day on 1181 calories

I have really enjoyed tracking my diet today! Hopefully I will do some more health-related posts soon!
Eva-Rose
xxx



Apps I use:
Pedometer- Any pedometer app will do! I always aim for at least 10,000 steps per day.
MyFitnessPal- This is the main app I use. I put in my food (can just zap a barcode in!) and then the app tells me my caloric intake for the day, alongside weight loss statistics.
MapMyRun- this works out distance, pace and the duration of my running before converting my workouts into calories burned and adding it into my MyFitnessPal daily diet diary.

Inspiration Board- March 2017

My first blog post, agh!!

To start things off, I thought I would attempt to display a little bit of my personal style through an inspiration board. Since moving to Birmingham six months ago, I have fully embraced the freedom of city fashion and have found myself wearing a lot more 'obscure' outfits. I have always been self conscious, and I believe self-confidence is something that will take years of steady improvement, however I have found that pushing the boundaries with my style is something that helps me a lot. If I feel good in what I'm wearing, I feel so much more motivated to study and socialise, and that is one of the many reasons why fashion is so important to me.

Here are a few items which have caught my eye recently.

1) Zara cross body bag
http://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/bags/view-all/crossbody-bag-with-embossed-chain-c819022p4283057.html
(Typical fashion-blogger bag, I know.)
This bag brings back lots of fond memories! When I was in sixth-form I used to work part time at Waitrose and each year we would get a bonus. I remember having this bag saved on my desktop screen for weeks before hand, just waiting for when I could buy it, and then the sheer excitement of having a massive Zara package come through the post. I wore it pretty much every day for over a year until it slowly deteriorated and sadly gave up two weeks into university. It is pretty expensive, so I can't imagine getting a new one, but if I ever win the lottery, I'm heading straight to Zara.

2) Warehouse gingham midi-dress
http://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/just-arrived/clothing/gingham-button-front-dress/028286.html?cgid=new-in-clothing&dwvar_028286_color=76&position=33#&start=33&categoryID=new-in-clothing
This year, I really want to try some midi-length clothing. I love how the monochromatic colour scheme works with the casual, yet tailored style of this dress. I would pair this with my bright yellow doc martens for university or with a simple black pair of heels for an evening dinner.

3) Amy DvD
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amy-DVD-Asif-Kapadia/dp/B010NGEWEA
Although this isn't fashion favourite, this is a film that I keep meaning to watch, but always forget. I have been listening a lot of Amy's music recently, and I'd love to know more about her life.

4) Mark Jacobs- Daisy perfume
http://www.theperfumeshop.com/Marc-Jacobs/Daisy/Eau-de-Toilette-for-her/p/26310EDTJU
I have never owned expensive perfume before (except from Lady Gaga's 'Black Fluid' if you can count that!), but every time I go into boots, I always check if this is on sale. My mother's middle name is Daisy, and I really wish I could buy her a bottle for mother's day, yet sadly I don't think I'll be able to unless they bring out miniatures. :(

5) The Great Frog Medium Kudu Skull Ring
https://www.thegreatfroglondon.com/product/medium-kudu-skull-ring/
Again, this is an item I doubt I will ever own, but hopefully I can find something similar on Ebay. I know in current trends minimalistic accessories and dainty chockers seem to be everywhere, but I don't think I will ever give up my statement jewellery. Despite having quite a girly style, I still love odd gothic touches, I don't have any problems with mixing gold and silver either!

6) Misguided two piece set
https://www.missguided.co.uk/black-floral-embroidered-plunge-top
This two piece set is an accurate representation of my style: floral, embroidered, plunged neckline, long sleeved... everything I love in an outfit.

7) Select culotte jumpsuit
http://www.selectfashion.co.uk/clothing/s045-1104-009_khaki.html
Select has been my favourite clothing store for years because of their reliability and low prices, I don't think I have ever been into one of their stores and not found something that I have fallen in love with. Sadly, I don't think I am brave enough to attempt the culotte trend yet, so I have opted for a plain black, flattering piece to ease myself into it, and at £13.99 it's a good price too!

8) Daith piercing
It sounds strange, but my ears are probably the part of my body which I love the most. I currently have 12 piercings, 10 on one ear, and I'd love to add the Death to my little collection.

9) Kat von D foundation
http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_123016007799_-1
I was so excited to find that Kat von D's makeup line has been brought to the UK, although at nearly £30 a bottle I'll have to pass.

10) River island mini satchel
http://www.riverisland.com/women/bags--purses/satchels/blue-scarf-print-mini-satchel-bag-698469
I saw this incredible little bag in person when I went shopping with one of my friends back at home and I was instantly drawn to the baroque-styled print and gold hardware. For river Island, I was pleasantly surprised at the price too! I see so many people stuck in their comfort zone of an everyday black bag. Why can't an everyday bag be a little mad like this one? Why should you care if it doesn't go with the rest of your outfit? I'd happily wear this everyday, everywhere!

11) Asos embroidered Mom Jeans
http://www.asos.com/glamorous-petite/glamorous-petite-embroidered-mom-jean/prd/7638794?iid=7638794&clr=Blue&SearchQuery=embroidered jeans&pgesize=26&pge=0&totalstyles=26&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=2
Embroidery has been everywhere this year and I adore it! However, I appreciate how Asos have changed It up a little by only embroidering one leg and adding in cute little birds. I've been looking for a pair of perfect embroidered jeans everywhere and these would have been ideal if they were half the price. 

12) Pandora turtle charm
http://estore-uk.pandora.net/charms/charms/sea-turtle-charm/791538CZ.html?productsearch=internalproductsearch
I know it's cliché, but my Pandora bracelets (alongside a necklace my grandma bought me for my 18th) are my most prized possessions. I haven't had a new charm for ages so I'd love an opportunity to get a new one and add another memory onto my bracelet. This sea turtle is so cute and could go so well next to a plain silver charm.
(I'm planning to do a post soon on my Pandora and the significance of each charm!)

13) Evil Eye beanie- Cyberdog
http://www.cyberdog.net/collections/accessories-hats-hair/products/evil-eye-beanie?tag=
Yellow has always been my favourite colour, and mixed with my love of mad, statement accessories, this couldn't be more perfect for me!

I feel like I have written a lot, but I was just very excited to have finally set up my own blog again! Hopefully see you soon!

Eva-Rose